Old Moonie Feelings

[Jim Spencer]

I wonder what happened to the rest of the 1975 Moonie missionaries? If they are still active in the "church", shouldn't they have E mail addresses? Or are we all that's left? Have the rest of the missionaries completely left the church?

I can only speak about my journey through the UC. It was an amazing 13 years--from 1973; when Father and Rev. Vincense came to Alaska a few months after I became the first UC member there----to my travels to Laos, Thailand, London, and Saudi Arabia to witness.

I know that God led me to Rev. Moon; and that made it all the more confusing when I left. Now I am at peace in my heart and I realized that there were no walls for me to either leave or to come through. Here I am again on a UC website, desiring to do what God has called me to do----to share His love through my own experience and perspective.

Now, I feel free that I can objectively analyze this man called Rev. Moon without fear.

The reason that evil exists on earth is because God gave us a cherished gift----Free Will. God, being omnipotent and omniscient----the beginning from the end, or another way of putting it---the whole story or the whole play. {It's not like this is the first little planet he ever created} Also, God, being the Creator, instilled in the little human animals---very powerful survival instincts such as the sex drive, hunger drive, and the spirit of competition. And then he put very beautiful things in front of man to enjoy---and said---"don't touch". Have you ever put a piece of candy in front of a toddler and told him not to touch it?

God wants us to use the brains He gave us to think about everything.

I love Rev. Moon for the wonderful gifts God gave him---his wonderful heart; his sense the deep love of God, his sense of service, his desire to unify religion and uplift Christianity.

I'm not impressed with his belief that he is the Second Advent of Christ or that he superscedes Jesus because my understanding of Jesus Christ is that he actually lived and worked with his Apostles---on the same level as them. He didn't live a lavish lifestyle while the Apostles had 40 people sharing one bedroom and bathroom. That's not an example of "washing the feet of the Apostles".  Although I do not carry any resentment about this fact, it edifies my belief that "Father" is a human being and he has an ego.

I have also learned that "guilt" and "fear" are fallen emotions; and plenty of that was instilled in me and was used to motivate me. Those emotions close our minds and paralyze us---and that is why so many members left. I don't believe that it is right to glorify suffering; and that suffering is an end in itself; although it is sometimes the inevitable outcome of poor choices. And, for a man that teaches so much about the value of a heavenly family unit; why would he be okay with the concept that "God wanted him to live rich because Jesus didn't get what he deserved----while----God apparently didn't think it was important that he spent more time with his children, so that they didn't grow up as did Hyo Jin did?  But, there is an "answer", a justification for everything. If we say it is God's will or something providential; then it's okay---even if it defies our known logic of normalicy. When many many things don't seem to add up---we have a conflict with the beautiful side and the flowing love and the dysfunctional side.

That threw me off for many years and caused my to have a bitter and negative heart towards Father. Now that I have matured and learned much; God is again firmly beating within me and my ship has been righted. My journey now has taken me back to spreading Gods love and Gods hope and Gods joy.

I know that some of you still feel locked up and maybe think I'm a blasphemer. You may be looking over your shoulder to see if God will strike you or me. But, I can assure you, God wants us to be totally honest and sincere with ourselves. He wants us to use our free will to examine our surroundings and this thing called "life on earth". In this temporary estate, we kindergarden students are building our foundations for our eternal life.

Much love and joy to all'

 

Regards,

 

Jim Spencer

 

 

[Robert Williamson]

Yes Jim,

We are still trying to get all missionaries to join,both active and non active.If you know any please let them know.I think we can share  a lot on this site.

Robert