An Honest Letter from a 1982 Blessing Sister

[Jim Spencer]

Jim,

I guess I'm not the only one that is crazy. Here is a letter that my Unification Church wife of 31 years wrote to a sister. I apologize for distributing it but it is so important. My wife has her own mind and her own beliefs, which do not always agree with mine. But, we are kindred spirits and soul-mates. Because of a heart-connection---there is no fear. She has her own connection with God and I trust in him to guide her and to show her the correct family values which lead to unity and maintain the 4 Position Foundation.

Her letter:

Thank you for contacting me.  Jim and Jim R. have been playing what I call "spiritual ping pong" - quite entertaining... I just read some of the blogs.  Reading what you wrote makes me feel connected with you as I can sense the substance of your spirituality and feel that we have that in common, no matter how we got there.  The past 4 years have been quite amazing in my spiritual development.  I decided four years ago that I would commit myself to at least 15 minutes/day of "meditation"/"going into the silence" and see where it would take me as I did not want to have a religious experience based only on others' hearsay.  I wanted to test for myself the validity of meditation, prayer and contemplation, wanted my own personal relationship with the Divine and it started gaining momentum and substance.  "Ask and it shall be given to you."  I asked many questions and got more insightful answers that I could have ever dreamt of.  My personality started evolving too; the fruit of the spirit started their slow process of maturation.  I truly can say that I was guided in so many ways to wonderful spiritual kindred souls and experiences.  The spiritual stagnation I had been under started lifting and I became spiritually "alive".
 
About 3 years ago, I became inspired to start a Women's Meditation Circle in Fairbanks, Alaska, and to name it "S.O.U.L. Circle", Sisters of Unconditional Love.  The purpose of this mystic Circle was to share with one another what we "know", not what we "believe in" - no dogmas involved, only "living truth" . It is opened to women from all walks of life, races, religions...  Spirit made it happen and our Circle has been blessed with its intended diversity - women from India, Korea, Japan, Romania, Moldavia, Greece, USA, Alaska Natives, Native Indian, France... and a wonderful diversity of spiritual backgrounds: Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity, Shamanism, Urantia Book readers, Meditators, Reiki practitioners, Qigong, Tai Chi, etc.  For such a small town as Fairbanks, I am overwhelmed that my original intention has been so fulfilled.  We meet every saturday at my house and let Spirit guide our meditation and exchange.  I am attaching our norms and intentions so that you can get the jest of it.  
 
My long term vision is that our Circle ripples in many more and bring spirituality to many thirsty souls.  I believe that we can contribute in our small way to lift the consciousness on our planet as so many of us are committed to these days. "It only takes a spark..."
 
When I left UC, I was plagued with guilt and fears for many years.  I thought that I had betrayed God and could no longer pray to Him.  However, patiently, He guided me to so much more...  and I became an avid spiritual "explorer", feasting on the spiritual downloads made available to us these days.  The Self Realization Foundation (Paramahansa Yogananda) and the Urantia Book (a revelation of 2000 pages with no human author taking credit for it) were the two driving forces leading me to spiritual liberation.  In your blog, you mention that the Urantia Book was received by a woman.  It was not.  I think you might have been thinking of the Course in Miracles.  I got a copy of it but have a hard time reading it for the same reasons you mention.  On the other side, The Urantia Book is very inspiring to me.  No human being had anything to do with its publication.  Nobody takes credit for it; it is not a cult.  Its papers are authored by various "Celestial" entities.  In 1984, when Jim started reading it in Saudi Arabia, I was very closed minded as I was afraid.  He would read passages to me and they resonated with me.  Still, I did not want to get into it.  Years later, back in Alaska, I decided to read it cover to cover.  It took me a year.  I have read it 3 times since.  The last part of the book which reveals in details the Life and Teaching of Jesus is what won me over. {Start with the last part if you want to investigate it} It liberated me from guilt and fears instilled in me by Catholicism and Unification Church.  It gave me the licence I needed to open myself to "Spirit", investigate,  and let Spirit guide me personally, with Faith, not fear.  It made clear to me that a Fragment of God resides in me, whose "mission" is to be my eternal companion on my journey to Paradise.  He knows me and loves me unconditionally, no strings attached, no guilt trips, no cohersion.
 
The Urantia Book is filled with "gems" and moments of "ah ahs".  There are no superfluous sentences and there are layers and layers of understanding.  It's like peeling an onion.  You get closer to the core with each layer, but it takes time.  Growth takes time.  We can only absorb truth from where we stand at the moment.

 

The Urantia Book helped me understand what Jesus meant when he said "the truth shall make you free."  Dogmas can be enslaving and restricting.  I came to understand that true spirituality is beyond all that.  It is unifying, not divisive as religions can be.  I have a deep heart connection with my Soul Sisters.  It is removed from egos and personal beliefs.  God created diversity, not uniformity.  Diversity is the salt of our lives, what makes them interesting.  We have to be open-minded AND open-hearted.  The world is never going to unite through the intellect, even though intelligence is required.  The heart has its own intelligence which need to be nurtured and the head has to surrender to it.  Truth is so simple and yet it takes us so long to discover that it has been staring us in the face for so long.

 

Another blessing was that I finally understood that God was not expecting from me to perform where I had no aptitudes.  I was guilt ridden in the Unification Church.  I was so shy then that I could not approach people on the street during witnessing hours, I was a terrible fundraiser.  I felt so inadequate and ashamed.  Now, what God is telling me is that I have my own set of Gifts and that He is not comparing me with others.  I can only give what I have. I can freely give what I have freely received.  I am constantly scouting for kindred souls and it comes naturally to me, now that I do it "freely", from gratitude.

 

So, in a nutshell, that has been my spiritual journey so far.  Jim and I believe that we are about to enter the next Chapter in the book of our lives.  We are trying to liquidate our life in Alaska and permanently move to Medford, Oregon, where we purchased a home 4 years ago.  We already established spiritual connections there and want to make ourselves available to be of help to the "Correcting Time" that our planet is undergoing right now. 

 

Jim had a stroke last June and it had a silver lining.  It rewired him spiritually.  He grew through it and became a better person.  Not only did God prolong his life, he also raised him to a new level from which he functions much better.

 

So, yes, life has been very challenging but also very interesting - so is the growth process.

 

I hope that you will share with me your "epiphanies" as I candidly did with you.  Through my Soul Sisters, I am looking to get a better picture of the God who inhabits each one of us and relates to us so personally.

 

Much Love to you and your family.

 

In the Spirit,

 

Anyas