It took me 40 years to figure it out

[Jim Spencer]

After 40 years, connected with the UC, I finally understand. Jesus Christ is the only Son of God. Rev. Moon places himself above Jesus, saying that somehow, he failed in his mission to earth. That little thought that continuously runs through my mind, telling me that Rev. Moon is all about the self----himself----has now finally come to fruit. It never did add up---the stories, the dysfunction, the personal riches, the self-glorification, the bad moods, the limosines, the jets, the suits---always telling us that he and his family are pure and holy, and we are fallen. No Rev. Moon---you are either severly misguided in your religious egotism--or you are the remnants of the Luficer Rebellion on Earth. After 40 years, and the wine ceremony, and the attendance---I hereby declare that my connection to you is null and void. I don't want to be part of your lineage because I belong to the true Creator Son of this universe. I belong to Jesus Christ---now---and forever. I make this pledge in full awareness. You have ruled by guilt fear, and intimidation---thwarting the Free Will Gift that has been bequeathed by the Universal Father to all men. That fear has now become evident within my heart and Christ is cleansing me of my adherance to the wrong being. I worship the Universal Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit alone. Take heed my brothers and sisters. It is a grueling path to escape.

THE ORDINATION

^140:2.1 Jesus now instructed the twelve mortals who had just listened to his declaration concerning the kingdom to kneel in a circle about him. Then the Master placed his hands upon the head of each apostle, beginning with Judas Iscariot and ending with Andrew, When he had blessed them, he extended his hands and prayed:

^140:2.2 "My Father, I now bring to you these men, my messengers. From among our children on earth I have chosen these twelve to go forth to represent me as I came forth to represent you. Love them and be with them as you have loved and been with me. And now, my Father, give these men wisdom as I place all the affairs of the coming kingdom in their hands. And I would, if it is your will, tarry on earth a time to help them in their labors for the kingdom. And again, my Father, I thank you for these men, and I commit them to your keeping while I go on to finish the work you have given me to do."

^140:2.3 When Jesus had finished praying, the apostles remained each man bowed in his place. And it was many minutes before even Peter dared lift up his eyes to look upon the Master. One by one they embraced Jesus, but no man said aught. A great silence pervaded the place while a host of celestial beings looked down upon this solemn and sacred scene— the Creator of a universe placing the affairs of the divine brotherhood of man under the direction of human minds.

3. THE ORDINATION SERMON

^140:3.1 Then Jesus spoke, saying: "Now that you are ambassadors of my Father's kingdom, you have thereby become a class of men separate and distinct from all other men on earth. You are not now as men among men but as the enlightened citizens of another and heavenly country among the ignorant creatures of this dark world. It is not enough that you live as you were before this hour, but henceforth must you live as those who have tasted the glories of a better life and have been sent back to earth as ambassadors of the Sovereign of that new and better world. Of the teacher more is expected than of the pupil; of the master more is exacted than of the servant. Of the citizens of the heavenly kingdom more is required than of the citizens of the earthly rule. Some of the things which I am about to say to you may seem hard, but you have elected to represent me in the world even as I now represent the Father; and as my agents on earth you will be obligated to abide by those teachings and practices which are reflective of my ideals of mortal living on the worlds of space, and which I exemplify in my earth life of revealing the Father who is in heaven.

^140:3.2 "I send you forth to proclaim liberty to the spiritual captives, joy to those in the bondage of fear, and to heal the sick in accordance with the will of my Father in heaven. When you find my children in distress, speak encouragingly to them, saying:

"Happy are the poor in spirit, the humble, for theirs are the treasures of the kingdom of heaven.

"Happy are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.

"Happy are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

"Happy are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

"And even so speak to my children these further words of spiritual comfort and promise:

"Happy are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Happy are they who weep, for they shall receive the spirit of rejoicing.

"Happy are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

"Happy are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.

"Happy are they who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Happy are you when men shall revile you and persecute you and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven.

^140:3.12 "My brethren, as I send you forth, you are the salt of the earth, salt with a saving savor. But if this salt has lost its savor, wherewith shall it be salted? It is henceforth good for nothing but to be cast out and trodden under foot of men.

^140:3.13 "You are the light of the world. A city set upon a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and be led to glorify your Father who is in heaven.

^140:3.14 "I am sending you out into the world to represent me and to act as ambassadors of my Father's kingdom, and as you go forth to proclaim the glad tidings, put your trust in the Father whose messengers you are. Do not forcibly resist injustice; put not your trust in the arm of the flesh. If your neighbor smites you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. Be willing to suffer injustice rather than to go to law among yourselves. In kindness and with mercy minister to all who are in distress and in need.

^140:3.15 "I say to you: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who despitefully use you. And whatsoever you believe that I would do to men, do you also to them.

^140:3.16 "Your Father in heaven makes the sun to shine on the evil as well as upon the good; likewise he sends rain on the just and the unjust. You are the sons of God; even more, you are now the ambassadors of my Father's kingdom. Be merciful, even as God is merciful, and in the eternal future of the kingdom you shall be perfect even as your heavenly Father is perfect.

^140:3.17 "You are commissioned to save men, not to judge them. At the end of your earth life you will all expect mercy; therefore do I require of you during your mortal life that you show mercy to all of your brethren in the flesh. Make not the mistake of trying to pluck a mote out of your brother's eye when there is a beam in your own eye. Having first cast the beam out of your own eye, you can the better see to cast the mote out of your brother's eye.

^140:3.18 "Discern the truth clearly; live the righteous life fearlessly; and so shall you be my apostles and my Father's ambassadors. You have heard it said: `If the blind lead the blind, they both shall fall into the pit.' If you would guide others into the kingdom, you must yourselves walk in the clear light of living truth. In all the business of the kingdom I exhort you to show just judgment and keen wisdom. Present not that which is holy to dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample your gems under foot and turn to rend you.

^140:3.19 "I warn you against false prophets who will come to you in sheep's clothing, while on the inside they are as ravening wolves. By their fruits you shall know them. Do men gather grapes from thorns or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree brings forth good fruit, but the corrupt tree bears evil fruit. A good tree cannot yield evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bring forth good fruit is presently hewn down and cast into the fire. In gaining an entrance into the kingdom of heaven, it is the motive that counts. My Father looks into the hearts of men and judges by their inner longings and their sincere intentions.

^140:3.20 "In the great day of the kingdom judgment, many will say to me, `Did we not prophesy in your name and by your name do many wonderful works?' But I will be compelled to say to them, `I never knew you; depart from me you who are false teachers.' But every one who hears this charge and sincerely executes his commission to represent me before men even as I have represented my Father to you, shall find an abundant entrance into my service and into the kingdom of the heavenly Father."

^140:3.21 Never before had the apostles heard Jesus speak in this way, for he had talked to them as one having supreme authority. They came down from the mountain about sundown, but no man asked Jesus a question.

[Kelsey Claire Bowles]

Thanks for the interesting explaination.  I  know not to judge anyone as below or above me because we never know.  We all need to keep growing, that's for sure! 

 

I've got chickens that need my attention so must go.  Love,  Claire (Kelsey)

[Jim Spencer]

Kelsey,

Here are your comments; and the comments from our brother--Jim Rigney--and---my comments. This shows that the path of life can lead people in many different directions--no matter what spiritual discipline they choose to follow. It shows that God can work within the human mind and heart anytime a person is willing to sacrifice themselves on the alter of love, repentance, and forgiveness. No, I believe that we were created in our mothers womb on earth, and we don't come back here again. There are far too many "mansions" that God has created for us up ahead. I have found that if we want to become followers of God---we must change. And that change  usually results in suffering. Father understands this; because he always talks about the tears that streamed down his face. The way of truth is often a suffering way because that is usually the only way that we can get off our high horses and get down on our knees. As long as we are stuck in our own arrogance---it is difficult to see the dawn, the light of truth coming. Many religious people think that "words" are what determine a man's destination. But words are only ideas and thoughts. It is through the experiences of life that our spirits can grow, not through mere words. I perceive in you, a person that has suffered for your faith, endured, and experienced the  love of God. In Father's family, some of his children took the high road, and others took the low road. Can you imagine Father casting his own children out because of their failures? This is where Jim Rigney gets it all wrong. Someday, when he wakes up; he will discover that he was the obstacle to his own growth---all along. He will see that it was not some "devil" that slowed him down; and he will not be able to blame anyone else but himself. Jim needs to understand that God wants for his diverse children to share their own personal truths but each person has their own personal walk with God---which is beyond any organized religion or religious book. Both you and I were missionaries in the UC. Our lives took different paths---and yet---we can share because what is common to both of us is His Love.

I am praying for Jim; and I hope that instead of being suspicious, fearful, and hateful---He can find the God of Love and Mercy.

We are all still babies----some of us still can't walk by ourselves; and the rest of us are just toddlers.

 

In  Him

 

Jim

 

[Kelsey Claire Bowles]

Hi, Jim R.  Yes, I'm not expecting to bring Jim S. back to TP's fold.  I do believe that a person's relationship to God is the most intimate and personal so I like understanding this in people.  It is their most precious treasure and therefor it is interesting to me. 

But don't worry about me.  I appreciate your love and concern for me but I am not interested in joining a different religion.  I have enough experiential evidence that God has put me here and wants me here still.  And because I feel God's tether, I am not afraid of looking into the deep heart of other beliefs.

 I have had to open my mind far wider than many Unificationists, and keep my heart open to all ways of thinking, because of my son, who is an avowed atheist and who I would never turn away from my love. Is atheism better or worse than Urantia revelations? 

Again, thank you for your worry for me.  With love,  Claire (Kelsey) Bowles

[Kelsey Claire Bowles]

Hello again, Jim.  Yes it's rather embarrassing to look back and see what babies we were.  Not only babies but scarred and misshapen, as well.  Within the DP and among the followers of TP you found the discipline to stick with Anyas even when love was not easy to find.  Me, too.  If not for TP teachings I would have been long gone.  I knew that John was the door to the Divine for me to reach the 2nd blessing but it was a difficult door.  It is worth it, as you said, even though there is a heavy cost.

 

My mind and spirit have gone so much further than I ever imagined.  I wasn't able to imagine how Oneness would feel and how much God needs us.  More than we need Him.

 

Do you still believe in attaining Oneness, becoming a True Man just as Jesus was?  Do you believe in reincarnation?  Curious.

 

Love, Claire (Kelsey)

[Jim Spencer]

kelsey,

Way to go girl! I'm not sure why Jim Rigney seems to be so stuck in his very small universe; but I think that it is his conception of attendance to the True Parents. I think that he believes that he is protecting TP and the UC from enemies---even Satanic enemies.

You know, I remember my state of mind in the UC, way back when. I was so convinced and nobody could tell me anything. I always had an answer; and I really believed that I was the model disciple of Father. It takes all of us---time----to grow----just like the time it takes for a seed to develop into a flower. Someday, Jim will understand more---and he will blossom into a divine spirit. As Amma says (the Hugging Saint that has hugged 26 million people) the purpose of the Master is to break the ego shell---so that nourishment can be taken. It is often through conflict,pain, and suffering,  that the light of truth begins to shine through---illuminating those areas where we need to open up and grow. Amma says that the only sacrifice required is our ego--if we don't give it---then it will be taken. Sometimes, we need to be thoroughly defeated and on the ground; before we surrender to God and accept His love and guidance. I know that I should start every day with a prayer of repentance in order to put my heart in the right position to give and receive love from heaven and from my brothers and sisters. I always try to bow to the divine person in everyone; although I definitely am not always successful. The road is long; and is filled with many gifts and treasures; ans is strewn with many obstacles. Only the truly humble may pass its portals into the higher worlds of spirit. Kelsey, I wish you peace, that passes all understanding, love, joy, happiness, and unity.

Do you remember in London, 1978, after the Engagement Cermony---we went out from Lancaster Gate and I think we had a hamburger?  Those were the days of excitement, weren't they?

I didn't know then, that God had given me a beautiful lady with a wonderful heart as my companion. In fact, it took me many years and many tears to realize the gift He had given me. And it was not until I had bestowed much pain on her out of my lineage and my ignorance. I know how immature I was in the early UC, and what an unrealistic view I had of myself and my mission---which I totally screwed up. It wasn't anything like I thought it was. The only thing that I was able to salvage was my positive attitude; the generous and loving heart that I was born with, and the fertile soil to overcome my character weaknesses (but only with His help).

Jim

[Kelsey Claire Bowles]

Jim R.,  Aren't we supposed to dialog with people of other religions?  The above is the book that Jim S. considers holy scripture right now.  True Unification can only take place with mutual respect and understanding.  I am glad to dialog with anyone who sees things differently than I do.  Claire (Kelsey) Bowles

[Jim Spencer]

Kelsey,

You would enjoy talking to Anyas. She holds a woman's group called SOUL Circle--Sisters of Unconditional Love---every week. They meditate and pray, learn, teach, and share in a exclusively feminine environment-----no aggressive male spirits allowed-----It's a beautiful thing to behold.

Yes, there are many revelations coming in----and we sift through them and try to determine their validity---if they meet the standard of unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness from a loving Father.

The Urantia Revelation is a large book---it takes several months to read it. I like to read the first chapter on The Universal Father. I also like the chapter on The Mission of the Thought Adjusters and mostly, I like the second half of the book which is the Life and Teachings of Jesus of Nazareth.

I have read and re-read the DP many times and have attended many workshops. I have also read the Bible many times, as well as Yogananda's stuff, AMMa's book---which is really cool, and many more. I also read and have read much of Fathers books, including his last one.  From sorting all of that information out through my personal experience and view of reality; and from the growth of my heart----I started "seeing" Jesus and angels after I had a stroke----I came to my own understanding and deep heart connection with Jesus and his spirit--The Spirit of Truth (which he talked about), and I am learning about his counterpart--The Holy Spirit---which is the feminine nurturing mother spirit. That is the 4 position foundation for me. According to Urantia, Jesus existed as the Soverign of our local universe before he incarnated on the earth. He chose earth because of the messed up place we have due to the Lucifer Rebellion and the Default of Adam and Eve.

Jesus did not come to get married----He already had his bride. When he came, there was a judgment of the age. He will not come back until the planet reaches the  age of Light and Life---although there will be other teachers that will come. When I consider that we are only one inhabited planet in a near infinite universe---of populated worlds----who can claim to be the Lord of Heaven and Earth. It just doesn't add up.

I would suggest purchasing the Urantia Book that has the large index at the back of it----ask it questions and look up the answers.

In the end, we are free to explore truth however we feel guided to do so, and that is because our Heavenly Father is a God of love, mercy, and grace. He loves us and He gave us the gift of Free Will.

The whole idea of "satan" is the fear tactic used to herd us in certain ways. I feel that the reason why so many UC leaders are negative and closed-minded is because they have allowed themselves to be cut off from the fountain of the living water which flows from Christ. It is FEAR that is paralysing the members. To those that love the Lord, no evil force can have any power. The angels of God protect us. I see them, and they are big, beautiful, and powerful angels who live to serve.

 

Kelsey, I am happy to have found someone in the UC that has an open heart; and Anyas would be happy to dialogue with you. Her e mail address is [e-mail]. She is a beautiful spirit and I know that she loves you.

 

In Christ,

 

Jim

 

 

 

[Kelsey Claire Bowles]

I will speak directly to Christ, who still is what he said he was, and hope that he will speak back to me.  I must speak with a sheild of cynicism because there are dangers.  We have all known spiritual people who have become insane.  This is one reason that I don't speak to mediators usually, nor to spirit people.  I consider myself a mystic and only seek direct connection to God and no one else in the spirit world.  I use cynicism as a guard against the weirdness that is, unfortunately, around.  A little fear is a good thing and I fear going insane (which to me means going away from God.)  I use the DP as a guard and match what I receive from God to DP.  Also my husband.  If it fits with what I've learned from DP and with my husband's opinion, I tentatively accept what I receive.  Cynicism, DP, and John have saved my neck many times probably.  But the DP is incomplete and is a guide to God, it isn't God.  Neither is a mediator God.  Even Jesus, our beloved brother and messiah, is not God.  True Father is not God.  Though people have made both of them into God.  I will speak Jesus with an open heart.  Love, your sister. 

[Kelsey Claire Bowles]

Jim,  I agree with you that God will find us where we are by following our passion.  Mine was always for Him, not for any mediator.  I don't believe we need mediators, once we have found access to Him, but we do need truth.  I never prayed to Jesus and I never prayed to Father believing them to be people pointing the way to God, not to themselves. 

 

I am not connected to the church except to see it as a vehicle that Father has needed to accomplish things he felt he needed to accomplish.  All those things you mentioned, such as wealth (which has been pretty minimal really) I see as something that he felt was required for some providential reason.  It doesn't bother me.  What does bother me is that many of the leaders are unenlightened and immature spiritually.  Which one would find in any movement.  I feel sorry for anyone (members or non) who believes that they don't deserve total mergence with God.  I feel sorry for anyone (members or non) who live with fear.  And I believe the only way to be unafraid is to be one with God.  And I believe that oneness is within our reach.  And that one doesn't have to be a Unificationist to have access to that oneness.

 

You didn't say why you felt that the U.Revelation was true?  What struck you and Anyas about that particular revelation.  There are many in the world.  Love to you both,  Kelsey

[Jim Spencer]

Kelsey,

Nice to hear from you again. And, I appreciate your comments. I believe that God can find us and guide us, no matter where we are at in the world---if our hearts are tuned to Him. When I was blessed with Anyas, it was because of my sincere devotion to following the will of God that allowed Him to match me with such a beautiful spiritual person. It's great that you have found peace and happiness within the church. One of the things that struck me about the members, was their idealism; and their willingness to sacrifice their own lives to live for a higher purpose. Because God is such a loving father, He reveals Himself in whatever manner we can identify with. Since I have been reading the astounding Revelation---The Urantia Book (truthbook.com) for 25 years; which is all about Jesus of Nazareth---I came to understand the meaning of salvation differently. It is not for me to discount any other person. However, Rev. Moon, despite all of his good works---has proclaimed that Jesus is not the Son of God; he failed---and Rev. Moon is his replacement. That's wrong. What do we have, except to look at Revd. Moons words and his life? What I see is self-glorification; sysfunctional family members; gambling; his own family living the richest life while his members are groveling around; being guilted into giving up what little money they have so that his kids can go to Harvard. If that is okay with you, and you can justify it for yourself---then, that is your choice.

I invite you to read the Urantia Book and then get back to me with some honest criticisms. I don't know what your experience in the Church has been, but both Anyas and I felt incredible pressure, guilt and fear that came from the movement. Now things have settled down as the movement ages; but Anyas used to wake up at night moaning from something deep within her. Now, she has found liberation in Christ.

Try praying to Christ with an open mind---He is still everything that He said he was.